The Day I Got Called Fundamentally Lonely (Just Like Everyone Else)

So today there have been two things of note. Well, not exactly of note, but two things that I fancy talking about. (Lots of other things have occurred in my life since my last blog post, but maybe I'll save them for later).

Firstly, tonight I went to see a comedy show in Ruislip - that famous centre of comedy - with Paul Foot. I'd never heard of him before, by my hopes rose when I saw a slideshow of "Unknown Paul Foot Facts" on a projector before he came on; for example, my favourite was "Paul Foot is capable of love. Tragically, though, he is one day fated to die." I also liked the fact that his first piece involved questionnaires and venn diagrams, and the second revolved around complaining that Jesus wasnt a very good carpenter, and that, being the son of God who had spent most of his life as a carpenter, he should really have contributed more to the field of carpentry, such as the "Jesus Join".

However, he then went on to talk about how we are all fundamentally lonely and that relationships are nothing more than two lonely people deciding to stay with each other in order to briefly (but, in the case of relationships, consistently) quell their loneliness. He also then picked on me, as an example of how (his words) a "very attractive lady with lovely hair will go home later and sit in front of the mirror and realise how lonely they are." This was followed by an amusing joke about texting, but whatever. In short, he was a good comedian, if you like a certain type of humour, but he also made me feel a little bit... uncomfortable? I'm not sure that's the right word, but it was a bittersweet experience. Personally I go to comedy shows to try and forget about bad things in life, not to be reminded how we are, naturally, lonely.

Anyway, the second thing of note that I saw today was a card in Clintons that said "Sympathy on the loss of your mum". This card made me feel a little bit angry. I just can't see how sending that card could ever be a good thing... I found out a little while ago that one of my close friends' mum is dead, and the thought of giving them that card is a little bit sickening. Firstly because if your mum has just died, receiving that is not going to make the blindest bit of difference - that is one of the worst things I can imagine happening, and getting something as twee and commercial as that would just seem to be almost an insult. But as well as the fact that this pale blue card with it's italicised writing could never improve the life of the person that you might send it to, how could it ever sum up how you feel about their loss? Without wanting to sound overly dramatic, the wave of compassion and heartache that I felt when I found out about my friend could never be expressed simply with the words "sympathy" on a mass-produced card. Arhhh... I'm not sure why it made me so angry, but I really hate that card, and anything like it.

PS. Apologies for the fact this is quite badly written, I don't seem to have my head in the right place for writing tonight.